i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize