Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
