and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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