So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
