i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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