then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
