last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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