A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I FOUND THE LEGS
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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