I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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