You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
she told me i tasted like america
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
