do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
