He had one of those small greek statue penises
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize