This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
