Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
