Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
