these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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