Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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