he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
