i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
