i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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