We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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