you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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