Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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