I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
