I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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