Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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