She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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