Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i came on her dog
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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