flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
