I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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