didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
