Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
