i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
