im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
