Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Damn victory sex feels great
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
