Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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