im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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