They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just found puke in my bra..
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I would fuck him just for his dog
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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