Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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