You work out of a Hotel?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Blow job season was short but glorious.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
