Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
