You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The struggles of a small town man whore
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
