I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You are a genius and a whore.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
