can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
