I heard we made out
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
