i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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