Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
