we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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