hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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