Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
