And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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