remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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