i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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