So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
