That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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