My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
