Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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