They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
i believe in u and ur pee
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
