therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
