can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
